Happy DiAnniversary!

Happy DiAnniversay to me! On July 30, 1993 I was diagnosed with Type I diabetes (IDDM).Where have the last 20 years gone? In my life I have now had diabetes LONGER than without it.

A celebratory massive keg of Diet Moke is in my future today, and hopefully a cake with butter cream frosting. Which, off topic a bit, reminds me of one of my favorite quotes about diabetes, from the immortal Homer Simpson, which goes something like "...and I am one slice of Snickers pie away from losing my foot to diabetes! Mmmm....Snickers pie! [drooling]"  Some things ARE totally worth it! Which makes me think a pecan pie slice might be more apropos....I know the carb count, of course. :)

Anyway, how has diabetes changed me and my life? What have I learned? I could write a novel about this, but naptime for my kidlets is only so long and I really want to post this TODAY, since it is a day of note.

Honestly, when I was diagnosed I thought it wouldn't be THAT big of a deal. After reading "The Baby Sitter's Club" books I was a little scared because one of the characters had "brittle diabetes" and described testing her urine for sugar and not even being able to eat processed cheese. But then we had a family friend who was know to "cheat" on her "diabetic diet,"so I thought I would be able to get by. Luckily, I was right. :)

Sure, diabetes is a BIG deal and it requires a lot of concentration and work. There are days when I am  FRUSTRATED with the ups and downs (pun FULLY intended) of Type 1 and I am fed up with dealing with insurance companies and meeting huge deductibles within a few months and patronizing and/or ignorant health care providers. I am, however, blessed to have never felt sorry for myself or wonder "why me?" My philosophy is such that I know everyone has their respective trials or difficult things to go through in life. One of mine happens to be IDDM.

Educating myself has been the most crucial part of living with IDDM. The more I know and understand, the better I can handle it (even though it occasionally doesn't seem to matter because my body seems to be a rebellious two year old who wants to do her own thing). And how lucky am I to be living in a time when medical technology is so amazing? Heck, I still love that my glucose meter only takes 5 seconds, since for half of my diabetic life I had a dinosaur machine which took a huge drop of blood and 45 seconds to read. And I won't even get started extolling the benefits of my pump and continuous glucose monitor. AND---things will only be getting better! Love those diabetes researchers.

I have learned the supernal nature of Diet Moke and fully incorporated it into my life.

I need to become better at hiding my diabetes supplies and pump tubing from my small children. Who knew how fascinating a drawer full of test strips and pump supplies can be? Let alone my pump tubing! In all honesty though, I did, once during a memorable grocery shopping trip, give my pump to my baby in an effort to keep him occupied (because of course, the toys and snacks I brought were not fun enough). It worked for about 4 minutes, which made me thank my lucky stars I was diabetic and had such an interesting diversion.

I now know  the best way to prepare for most diabetes emergency eventualities (although keeping my extra vial of emergency insulin cool in the car in the summer is still tricky), and only require a modest size suitcase to accommodate everything.  For example,I have learned to keep an emergency syringe and a vial of insulin at homes where I are a frequent visitor, just in case the emergency insulin I keep in my tester in my purse runs out or gets too hot. Also, to take the tester with extra insulin with me at all times, just in case my pump tubing happens to be eaten by a goat at the zoo and I have to trek out to my minivan with two upset children in tow.

I have learned to have a sense of humor (most of the time) about diabetes and the various reactions it evokes.

I am STILL learning how to have good control without being low all the time. I HATE being low and having to have extra calories regardless of my appetite. Having juice or a snack before working out just seems counterproductive, and when I am low I don't feel like I can be efficient or productive. Cramming glucose tablets into my mouth while lecturing a full classroom is not on my list of favorite professional experiences. Being high is awful too, of course, but I feel like I can soldier on a bit better when I am at the higher end of the range than the lower end. Yeah....have to work at that.


I definitely have to learn about how to not leave tiny blood spots all over my habitat (i.e., steering wheel, sheets, small children, etc.), and how to corral those rouge test strips from taking over the world. Although I can argue that I am leaving my mark on the world.

So...whenever your DiAnniversary is (or your loved one's), may you continue to learn and grow with this challenge. You can do it!

Thanks Mom!

Since Mother’s Day was a while ago [okay, a few months by now, but any mom will understand how time flies when juggling children and work], I wanted to give a quick and mighty shout out to my mom.

I was diagnosed with type I diabetes when I was 14 years old; the month before high school began. A tear comes to my eye (really, it does, I am not just making poetic hyperbole) when I think of how my mom helped me. The HUGE medical notebook tracking all of my tests, blood sugars,  doctor’s visits/results, etc. The epic blood glucose meter memory read back sessions (this was before the technological  smartness of synching and downloading, when you literally had to press a button again and again and go back through ALL the test results). The early morning balanced breakfasts she would prepare and pack so I could eat it in the car on the way to school (don’t worry, I wasn’t driving…eating Cream of Wheat while shifting and steering isn’t part of my skill set). The weekends when she would wake me up to test my blood and give me my shot and a snack so I could sleep in (remember…this was pre-pump days when you needed to be consistent with the times of injections so your NPH wouldn’t run out and your R had time to kick in before you ate). 

She came with me to the doctor and asked the right questions to try and understand the complicated things going on with my body, spent hours and hours on the phone to fight with insurance companies to cover enough test strips and pump supplies, while at the same time giving me my space and privacy so I could learn how to handle life with diabetes. I always had her support.

Thanks Mom. 

Now that I have tiny kids who are erratic (at best) in their eating habits and life can get a bit hectic, I can’t imagine adding diabetes to the mix. I do know that if one or both of them are diagnosed, I will deal with it. Just as we all deal with our own diabetes diagnoses (sometimes with more flair and grace than others) even when friends and family may say “I don’t know how you do it!” and  we just think “we HAVE to do it!” 

So another shout out to my friends with diabetic children. You are saintly. And to all diabetics who were diagnosed when they were young…thank your mom! And if you are diabetic and have children who have diabetes... I am going to miss you because you have an EZ pass straight to heaven!!! Keep up the good work.

*Note: my PhD dissertation was all about the relationship between teenagers with diabetes and their parents, and how privacy and independence and diabetes all fit together. Be ready for a post about this sometime in the future. Probably not near future, but future nonetheless.*

Goats...and insulin

THIS is the infamous goat. I was obviously not in a position to take a photo of the whole tug of war incident, but you can get an idea of the goat's character just by this shot. Shifty eyes.

Some days my pump tubing seems to have a mind of its own. Seriously, I demurely tuck the plastic coils into my pocket or beneath my clothing, but before I know it the tubing has sprung away to meet a doorknob, car gear shift, tree branch, etc. Usually it is just a minor annoyance (although passersby probably get a kick out of seeing me stop short and jerk back as if yanked by a giant puppeteer) but occasionally  my site gets ripped out or the tubing breaks (which inevitably occurs when I am being an ‘irresponsible diabetic’ and don’t have backup supplies right with me).

Most recently I had a memorable moment with my errant tubing and a farmyard animal. At the petting zoo with my kiddos, I was too busy making sure my 18 month old didn’t experiment with the taste and texture of sheep poop to really be concerned about the goat that was nuzzling my flank. I thought this action was cute if not a little forward, but then I realized that he had acquired a definite target…my pump!  I know my pump has some sort of baby/toddler/child magnetism, and now we know livestock also sees the appeal.  Sadly, the end of this story is pretty predictable.

The goat had moved on from my actual pump, delicately taken my tubing with his teeth and was about to make a run for it to enjoy the delicious insulin infused plastic.  It turned into a bit of a tug of war with said ruminate, with me gently pulling on my tubing to remove it from his mouth without getting bitten, and the goat tenaciously gripping it in its mouth while edging backwards. Anyway, the tubing stretched to an impossibly tiny plastic string before it snapped. Of course I hadn’t brought in my kit with an extra needle and insulin vial, so thus had to make the long pilgrimage back to the car. In 93 degrees. With an upset 3.5 and 1.5 year old who did not want to leave the zoo only 15 minutes after entering.  Sigh.

The good news is that the tug of war DID indeed provide a great deal of hilarity not only to my own offspring, but to the zoo worker (who commented “Didn’t you see the sign that said you shouldn’t bring cell phones or pagers in?” Oooooohhhh….don’t get me started on that one! But that is a post for another day) and entire third grade population of a local elementary school.

I couldn't have made a better lasso if I tried! This incident took place as I was loading the stroller into the minivan.

So what have your experiences been with torn, twisted, and tangled tubing?

Eat it...just eat it!

THE CAKE IS MINE!

Okay. So we all know that whenever someone thinks of diabetes, food is one of the, if not THE first associations to come to mind. Most of the general public, since they have little to no experience of living with Type I, still have the antiquated  belief that we subsist on celery and unprocessed cheese and shun anything vaguely "starchy."

Well. I don't know about you, but that doesn't fit ME at all.  In fact, I have a relationship with butter cream frosting that could only be described as "complicated." And although I generally describe my eating habits as healthy and well balanced, I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination.

What drives me nuts though, is when other people feel as though they have the freedom to "audit" me and say that I "shouldn't eat that." Oh, yeah, thanks for that memo. Because without your reminder, I would go into complete "diabetic shock" (don't you love that phrase?) due to my poor choices and ignorance.

Wow. I just realized how harsh that might sound, and I recognize that MOST people really do have the best of intentions when launching the whole "can you eat that" conversation. You have to understand that even complaining about these types of occasional comments makes me feel a little cliche, but because it is so prevalent, I feel the need to mention it. Not only because it feels good to vent, but also because it is one of the most common pet peeves for any diabetic.

LET THEM EAT CAKE!!

Aside from the directive and invasive comments though, I also find silent judging and questioning to be problematic. You know, like when you feel the eyes of  your spouse's boss  following every trip your hand makes to the bread basket...

Maybe I have a problem with trying to please everyone, but am I the only one who has ever "audited" what they ate in order to not freak out other people?  Don't get me wrong; I take most opportunities to further diabetes education and chat up the miracle of carb counting, but there are times when it isn't appropriate to dominate the dinner discussion. Or I am just too tired to explain myself for the 1, 345,624th time.

A hypothetical case in point: abstaining from the dessert tray at a family reunion party because my sweet great aunt** would be soooo worried if I had a molten chocolate explosion cake with an ice cream chaser, and my type II great uncle would be jealous and bitter and confused that I am indulging when he really can't (according to his treatment plan, not my judgment). Of course, I then remove my emergency cookie dough stash from the freezer when I get home so I can get my sweet treat fix that overtook my soul when I saw the dessert tray.

**Occasion and relationships have been changed to protect the adorably clueless



So...what are your food auditing experiences? When, where, and why do you find yourself silently altering your food intake in response to others?

Addict Roll Call: Moke and Lepsi fans unite!

 Almost every diabetic I know LOVES diet soda, typically one of the two Diet Cola varieties since it is usually the only kind that is readily available at every gas station or restaurant. Although I am a HUGE Diet Moke fan (names have been changed to protect the innocent), I understand that some people appreciate Diet Lepsi, (which I personally think tastes more like runoff from a feedlot, but it will do in a pinch) and I will still like (but maybe not respect) you if you are a Lepsi fan, but the common denominator between Lepsiers and Mokers alike is a deep and undying appreciation of your special brew.

Lest I be accused of only being addicted to the caffeine, I want to reassure you that I am currently enjoying cans of CAFFEINE FREE Diet Moke. Not to say that I don't supplement with the *real* stuff. I just love soda!

But, aside from hearing your testimonials to the amazingness of Diet Lepsi and Moke, tell me about your love affair. Did you like your diet soda even before you got diabetes? What role has diabetes played in your appreciation of the cola? And if you are feeling really brave, you can admit how many sodas you (or your "friend") drink every day. What lengths would you go to to obtain a fix? AND, if you are of the rare breed who doesn't enjoy it...how did you quit?:)

Cheers! I raise my cup of diet bliss to you! It is amazing how much happiness can be found in 64 ounces of fountain-y goodness.

Humor, with a side of blood

At age 14, within the first 6 months of being diagnosed, I made a "Top Ten list of things to NEVER tell a diabetic." At the risk of embarrassment, I hesitate to disclose that I am not sure where this original list can be found. See, it was saved on ummm...a disk. A floppy  floppy disk, not even a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk. On an Apple II GS computer with a program called "Bank Street Writer" You can start laughing now; I don't mind. Think of all the character building experiences us "old skool" folks have had before the modern conveniences of flash drives, high speed internet, and email.

At any rate, the things on the list included something like the following:

*You can't eat that!
*My great aunt Bertha had diabetes and she had both legs amputated and went blind.
*If I get some of your blood on me, would I get diabetes too?
*You must have eaten a lot of sugar to get diabetes so young!
*You're low! Let me bring you some Diet Soda really quick.
*Sometimes I wish I had diabetes because I want more attention
*Do you have the really bad kind of diabetes?
*Oh, my doctor said i have "just a touch" of diabetes
 *Oh no! Your blood sugar is 100! That is so high!
* I know how you feel, I have had a cold last month and it is miserable to be sick all the time.

The list brought a lot of laughs to a lot of diabetics (or at least a lot of polite people humoring me), and I think making the list helped me process and positively handle some of the stinky aspects of diabetes management. If, for example, I had a negative experience at school with the nurse, I thought "Ooohh...that one is TOTALLY making the list."

Recently, on a popular social networking site (perhaps you have heard of "Facebook"?)  I stumbled across an amazingly awesome thing called "Type 1 diabetes memes." It is full of witticisms, caption contests, and photos that celebrate the culture of IDDM. So, a shameless plug from someone who has absolutely nothing to gain from the recommendation. If you are on FB, have a sense of humor, are a type I or have a close family/friend with type 1, check it out. It is great to find not only funny bits about IDDM, but find a bunch of people who are in your proverbial shoes.

Laughter is the best medicine, right? I find it much more useful than my insulin pump. ;)

Fun with moving

The last time I wrote (TWO YEARS ago... my, how time flies when you are busy with toddlers!), I was a bit agitated with finding diabetes care in a new city. The big secret behind THAT post was that I was already pregnant with our second child, and it was super imperative that I find good physicians to be sure we were both healthy. After I called my doctor from the BDC, he made a few calls and opened the door for me to get in and see one of his rock star physician colleagues. A big shout out to Dr. Thomas Moore and his staff in San Diego. Thanks for a great experience!

Now, two years later, I am in the same boat AGAIN (although I am not pregnant). Due to my husband's job, we now live in the Fresno, CA area, which is about 6 hours away from our recent home in San Diego. Back to the not-so-fun-and-deductible-reaching drawing board of finding health care. Sigh.

This time around, I decided to try and find health care professionals ASAP after moving. After a great deal of research and yelp-ing, I had several appointments with different providers and after a few misses, I think I finally found a "hit" with a good diabetes doctor. Of course, this journey was not without its pitfalls. Finding babysitters to watch my 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old  in a brand new area was tough, finding the actual offices was difficult (thanks for the faulty GPS, not-so-smartphone!), and finding a compatible doctor was hard. BUT! I think we have a winner.

Sooooo....things seem to be happy on my end here. How about you? What have been your positive and negative experiences with finding good diabetes care? Any tips for finding a good doctor those who have just been diagnosed?